We're still here and still waiting!

Waiting to adopt is a marathon . . . a goal at the end you know will be beyond your wildest imagination, but it’s a marathon to get there. Not a marathon of activity, but a marathon of waiting. Plodding the every day. Trying to keep the mind from wandering.

For me, the hardest part of waiting is, in fact, keeping my thoughts on the here and now and what I know to be true. Often, I battle against this:

This is taking too long. Adoption will never happen. What if this or that is a sign? What if? Oh no.

This will work out. Just a bit longer. I can feel it in my bones.

Should I email my case worker . . . just so she remembers we’re here . . . waiting? No, I shouldn’t. But maybe it’d be okay. Some news is something, right? Well, I don’t want her to think I’m a stalker.

Hello, God, are You there? Want to give me a quick peek into the future?

When that call or email does come from the case worker, another aspect of the waiting game reveals itself: The tidbits of information scenario. In international adoption, you may find out about progress in your application or even receive a match with a child. But you always want more info. And in domestic adoption, waiting families can encounter multiple situations where their profile books are shown. You wait for the agency to show your book. You wait for the response.  Wait. Wait. Wait. And if a match is made, you wait until 48 hours after the birth for placement. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Please know that I ADORE adoption, but as with most beautiful creations, the adoption journey has its hard moments, even weeks. Yet, what’s that saying? Good things come to those who wait.

So, if you are in the waiting season–whether waiting for a match, for placement, or even for a “positive” from that darn pee stick–know that it is okay to acknowledge the pain, the frustration, the scariness of it all. It’s okay to cry it out. It’s okay to wait.

You are not alone, friend. I’m right there waiting with ya.

Walking in peace, 2016!

Instead of doing traditional holiday pictures; we decided to document the year and where we are at with our adventure to bring baby H home.

2015 was definitely a year of learning and growing. You would think by now, I would've learned, I am not in control... old habits die hard, I guess! Thankful for a lifelong partner who walks in peace and leads our home with the confidence and wisdom of our Heavenly Father. We feel blessed to be ending the year with absolute peace over God's plan for 2016 and our adventure to bring baby H home.

 Here's to 2015, 2016 less go!

 Please continue to pray for our adoption and the birth parents. We have not been matched, yet. We know that God is orchestrating the perfect situation for our family.

Food for thought!

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another.

Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough, and we'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with.

We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our partner gets his or her act together when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice holiday, when we retire.

The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

A quote comes from Alfred D. Souza. He said,

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until winter, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink.... there is no better time than right now to be happy.

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Work like you don't need money,

Love like you've never been hurt,

And dance like no one's watching."

-Robert  Westerburg

Letter from someone who's been there.

Hello, all you soon to be adoptive parents!

How are you feeling today? The answer to that is probably either overwhelmed, impatient, worried, scared, frustrated, angry, sad, hopeful, optimistic, tired, or a combination of a lot of these and other emotions. Guess what? That’s okay and those emotions will pass. Take a deep breath. Know that adoption is not easy on anyone. Adoption is one way to create a family or add to your family. It is a blessing filled with an endless roller coaster of emotions.

I’ve been there three times. I am so thankful to say that I have two beautiful and wonderful children. I know what you are going through can seem like a lot. It’s frustrating that you must fill out forms, have physicals, background checks, strangers in your home and place all of your most sacred information and feelings down on several pieces of paper. Then you must wait. Wait for the home study to be finished, wait to be selected by a birthmother or matched with a waiting child, wait for your child to be born or ready to come home, wait for red tape (with international) and wait for relinquishment and finalization.

It can seem like a lot of stress and a lot of waiting. Please don’t forget to keep the hope alive. Children are full of hope and wonder and will bring such joy to your life when they arrive. While you are going through this sometimes chaotic process, remember to stop and smell the roses, or hydrangeas, or rhododendrons; any flower really. Take time for yourself. Take time for your spouse. If you already have children, take time to be with them before they have a new sibling. Take them to the park, go for a hike, or go to a museum. Do whatever you love to do together.

Adoption can, at times, seem like it makes you put your life on hold because you get caught up in everything you have to do and all of the emotions you are feeling as you desperately wait for that child that will call you ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad.’ I totally understand because it is hard. At times it can feel like you are at war with yourself because you want to be happy for the neighbor who is pregnant or you want to just relax with your spouse, but something in your brain just doesn’t seem to allow you to do that. It can seem like adopting is all you can think about. Adopting is not easy. Keep in mind that it is also not easy for the many expectant mothers out there who might become birthmothers. Also, keep in mind that while this can sometimes seem like an endless struggle with no light at the end of the tunnel, it will end and you will see the light.

Then you become a parent for the first time or a parent again, and then the fun, sometimes chaotic and new stresses and/or worries begin!

Please always remember it does get better even when it can seem like it won’t. Keep your chin up and enjoy life (and sleep) as much as you can. You are doing fine. I feel life always seems to have a way of working things out just the way they are meant to be. Just wait and see! (We learn to get good at waiting!)

Sincerely,

Someone who has been there :)

Perspective

PERSPECTIVE

You are about to embark upon the most frustrating, challenging, and ultimately rewarding experiences of your life.

I can make you two guarantees.

One – if you stick through the frustrations and possible changes, we will find you, with the help of our Heavenly Father, the child that is meant to be part of your family.

Two – you will not be happy with this process until your child has come home.

The  most important thing that you can do is to keep your eyes focused on the goal.

If you remember that the goal is to bring a child into your home, then the small frustrations will ultimately seem just that – small.

Talk with families who have placed through Lifeline, and surround yourself/yourselves with people who truly understand what it is like to walk thru domestic adoption. The loss of control you will feel in this process is like no other you will ever know and like no one else can understand, unless they have been where you are now.

Most of all, do your best to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And when you worry and become frustrated with the paperwork or the wait or the many number of little details involved in adopting from the USA, remember to be thankful that you have the opportunity to worry about the small problems, because that means someone else is worrying about the big ones for you.

Waiting

Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of a season where there is beauty and heartache at the same time. You're fully aware of God's nearness, yet you are constantly having to lay down questions, doubts and pain. If you're honest and real- which we absolutely have to be with God- you have some really intense conversations with Him. One thing I've realized tho, is that asking why and remaining there only brings more questions- but worshipping and trusting Him brings breakthrough. It might not be this big goosebump and immediate joy kind of breakthrough- but it's a breaking through of His spirit through the walls of offense and deep disappointment. The pages of my journal might contain majorly honest thoughts and concerns to the Lord- but somehow through it all He meets me here and gives me a peace that I cannot explain. As I've been walking through this season with my sister losing her sweet baby, still born at 7 months- I've come to learn more and more that Religious Christianese terms or phrases don't help- they actually shut someone down. But true emotion and walking through the valley with someone in this place helps. Waiting on the Holy Spirit, worshipping while tears are running down your face, surrendering your questions and fears, letting go of offenses, and waiting for Him to meet you here- that's what helps- so...here I am Lord--waiting.

Kari Jobe wrote that and posted it on Facebook today. I know exactly what she means when she says " I've come to learn more and more that Religious Christianese terms or phrases don't help- they actually shut someone down. But true emotion and walking through the valley with someone in this place helps." I have wanted to turn and run when this happens - most recently! I keep feeling the tug of Jesus, my Abba Father pulling me back; with His gentle voice and soft hands. He holds me in His arms and says Be Still and Know... Be Still and Know, my precious daughter. This season has felt like a long one and although deep down I know one day I'll look back at it and say, I get it, I understand and I'd do it all over again for these results... today I'm frustrated and wondering when this season will end. Here I am Lord -- waiting.

Fundraisers & Grants = Blessed

I'm so excited and blown away by the financial support we have received towards our adoption. God is continuously showing up!

We’re overwhelmed with gratitude to have received our first matching grant. Little by little, we are getting closer to being fully funded for this adoption. While we will not know the exact cost of our situation until we match, we think we’re about $8,000 away from the majority of situations we have seen.

We are incredibly grateful to have received a matching grant of $3,000 from LIFESONG FOR ORPHANS, funded by First Alliance Church. Lifesong is a non-profit organization, so all donations are tax-deductible. Any funds raised will be released directly to the adoption agency to cover our fees (we will not get any money directly). 100% of donations go to our adoption since all administrative costs are underwritten by Lifesong partners.

So many have already given, and we are so thankful. We will be very happy when we are done asking for money, too ;) It’s not easy or pleasant, yet, through people like you, the Lord has continued to provide miraculously for this adoption.

THANK YOU does not even begin to express how we feel about all of the support we have been shown.