The physical effects of adoption waiting — aka huge loads of stress — were not discussed with me. Not something your agency covers in the required education classes.
Though yes, looking back now, I did hear about adoption weight gain. Similar to pregnancy weight gain. But I doubted its merits.
I think I’m pretty good at handling stress. It’s hard not to be when you live with the most even-keeled person you’ve ever met.
About a couple months into our adoption process, weird things started happening to my body. I wasn’t sure why. And it wasn’t until Adam pointed them out as symptoms of adoption stress that I realized he might be right.
Well, I fully realized the sweet treats were a direct result of adoption stress; and the weight gain was a direct result of the treats. Lifetime stress-eater right here.
As time has gone on and I’ve learned to manage this stress better, I recognize that he was absolutely right.
It seems silly to share this, but I hope adopting mommas will be able to more quickly recognize and address these physical effects of an adoption wait. It’s made a huge difference for me!
Weight gain: I think adoption stirs up stress-eating so easily. At times, I’ve despised being home. Because home is where I wish my baby was. We’ve done all the paperwork here, we’ve gotten good and bad news here, the nursery is here.
So, we get out of the home and go out to eat. Often. For years, I have scouted out sweet treats when stressed. This has been true during this adoption process, too.
What I’ve done: I’ve recognized the need to be healthy and in shape for our future kids! I’ve worked hard to try to identify when I’m eating because I’m stressed or bored or lonely. I’ve accepted that it is easy to get down during this wait and that exercise really does alleviate some of this. The adoption stress has honestly bordered on anger at times. I’ve exercised out the aggression by doing T25 or going for a jog.
Disrupted sleep: I wasn’t great at sleeping before we started this process, and it’s gotten worse throughout. At times, I’ve had a really hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. I can’t fall asleep because my mind is reeling. Especially on the days we’ve gotten good news or bad news or done a lot of work fundraising.
I wake up often, and when I do, my mind instantly turns to the adoption. It doesn't help that all I do in the evening is adoption "stuff" and check my phone a million times for email updates.
What I’ve done: I have purposely created a bedtime routine, and I work hard to stick to it. It does not include using my computer or talking about adoption. I turn off my phone at night or put it far out of reach, so I’m not tempted to look at it. I also use Serenity essential oil by doTERRA, which helps a lot.
This needs to be said, too, though! There’s nothing better than nipping the stress before it even manifests into these physical symptoms. You can do that with... prayer, prayer, prayer. Remember that with me.
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